Futile Struggle

Just two weeks back i was wondering if it was a right decision to enrol for the Broadcast Journalism course. After attending it, I must say it was simply awesome! In five days, I have learnt to interview, present, script, edit, did the final cut pro and complete my own production. It was a wonderful learning experience with a fabulous instructor, fun-loving mates and helpful, obliging peeps at Singapore Media Academy. Everything about the entire course is just great. I truly enjoyed myself over the short five days. And who can forget Mr. Augustine Anthuvan's favourite phrase - "Hurry up guys! I'd be done with Avatar 2 by the time you guys finish!" He's so nice, made learning so fun. :) What's best is I realised that it is possible to produce a good piece of news within a tight timeline. Can't wait to get my copy of the production from Ric. And of course hopefully I can breeze through the assessment on 28th. Only with that will there be a completion.

Knocking On The Wrong Door

New term's gonna start later! and I am excited about the broadcast journalism class. hopefully reality's not going to dampen my anticipation. had some great workout today doing the chores. I have changed the sheets, packed my books and wardrobe, done the laundry and cleaned the bathroom. it feels great that everything smell good and are sparkingly clean. gonna crash soon lest i turn up late for the first day. gosh! I'll be in lectures for more than 12 hours for the next two days. think i'm gonna be darn spent and drained by Wednesday.

saw a post on FB and I realised I have been knocking on the wrong door. all these while I said I will not hope anymore and I want nothing more than keeping our friendship. I have been bottling up the overwhelming feeling of wanting him but I can't deny the existence of such feelings. I can’t deny that I do like him and want him. but that post made me realised that there is really no chance for a relationship to ever develop between us. my romeo is still longing for his juliet.

I don't wanna let obstinacy rule me anymore. I have decided not to close my options. It is unnecessary and stoopid to do so. perhaps I don't feel that much for him after all. this has dawned on me when I realised there was no heart-thumping anticipation when we went out the other day. those fuzzy butterfly feelings were not there at all. maybe this part of me has long died together with the lost years. it will definitely be much easier to move on. nonetheless, I am thankful to recognise through him that I can and have moved past the most difficult period. all the best in getting your juliet, my God-given tool.

crashing.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......

Lurve Story

Just feel like blogging but no idea what to blog about.

School's starting next week and I have enrolled myself in an additional 5-day crash course. It's only five days I can surely make it through. Asked mayor for second opinion today, guess I just needed some convincing that I should make the choice of going for it. After all, it's complimentary and I am going to get a certificate at the end of it. Why not?

Finally, I am going to be done with my last term in a few months' time! : ) I will embark on another journey of my life thereon. There are so many things I wanna accomplish but I have yet to set my mind on what to do first. It's time I start listing them.

There's another thing I wanna do and it can't be accomplished by listing. Hmmmm. . . I wanna fall in love again! I am actually, there's just no reciprocation. It's been a llllooooooooooooonnnnnnnnggggggg while since I am in a relationship. A proper one. I have forgotten what it's like to have a balanced relationship; one that brings no heartache only laughter, happiness and joy. One that has no room for infidelity, no room for comparison, no room for proving a point, no room for social standing. One that can work out and maintain solely with love. Impossible. This kinda relationship will not happen for me again. And I give my blessings to those who are able to love each other unselfishly and whole-heartedly.

I feel there is no balance in most relationships. There is no balance between giving and taking. I realised that life is a competition in every aspect and yet the one that fought the hardest may not necessarily emerge as the winner. I have learnt. I have fallen and am standing again. I am ready to fall again if that's what it takes. But it's exclusive. Admission for one only. : )

I am rather happy with my present status but the invisible pressure from people around me is getting a little choking. Even mom is starting to join in the fun. Yes yes yes, age is catching up. It is time I find someone and settle down. Next CNY I want to see your other half. (Next CNY I will run away!) Yadda, yadda, yadda. I too realised how all my prime years were wasted. Gimme a break please? It's so unfair that guys don't get the same kinda pressure.

I wanna watch 'Letters to Juliet'. Bet it's gonna be a fantastic show. Finding and rekindling a long lost love. The soundtrack has a song by Taylor Swift - Love Story. Nice song - modern days Romeo and Juliet. Part of the song goes "Romeo save me, they are trying to tell me how to feel". Oh yes, Romeo please come save me. Save me from all the incessant nagging please................... (My stoopid Romeo got stuck in his own universe...)

If I end up old and all alone, I only have my obstinacy to blame. Hardly anything new. It's always the same old story of wanting something and every other replacement is disregarded in the course of seeking for the ultimate one. Thanks obstinacy. I have had enough. Please bring your ass away.

I must have sounded pretty emotional. I am not feeling it though, sleepy actually. Crashing time! Time to go dream of my Romeo! : ) Nitez world.