Singlehood Rocks (Not?)!

Don't disprove me just becos you think otherwise.

Nothing beats having the entire bed to myself and it sure sucks to play 'tug-o-wars' in a half-conscious state of mind.

But somehow for someone my age (hitting the big 3 next year!! Dammit!!) making this statement it sure sounds so very self-consoling. Really.... NOT!

I contemplated for a while, wondering if I should touch on this subject. Cos I was naively afraid that the ex may accidentally trawl upon this and finds out that I have been single since we ended like 1, 2.. coming 3 years? (Ya, ya ya, aside from the hours he put in at work at golf and at home as someone else's husband and father, he is so darn free to trawl the net to find your blog... *TSK.. The key word is accidentally leh!) But what the heck??!! This is my blog and I don't care if he could by any chance read this cos we have nothing to do with each other anymore!  And hell, single or not, I have been happy without him!  Stoopid fat old fake fooker!! Eat shit, die and rot in hell over and again and may your arse be ripped apart by many monsters at one go!!

Anyways, yes I have been single for coming 3 years now (the longest ever!) and have been in involuntary celibacy ever since (again, the longest ever!!). Yea, frens are all teasing about how the amount of spiderwebs combined together can form a wall - Berlin Wall! (OUCH..) Lolx! But it will come crashing down someday just like THE Berlin Wall too (I hope..)!

The pressure for me to get hitched or at least have a boyfriend to show is slowly surfacing - unlike its past invisible form - from various sources and for various reasons. Becos I'm not young anymore and it's time for me to settle down la and becos they haven't seen me with anyone for a long time la and becos my clock is ticking la (tick-tock, tick-tock) and becos my younger sister is oredi a mother of 2 la... Yadda yadda yadda.... How about giving me some breathing space??  It's so unfair that guys don't get this kinda pressure or even if they do it'd be at an older age.  Damn unfair!

I am really not so concerned (not enuf to actually run overseas to 避年 yet) about all the comments from my relatives since I only see them and hear them once a year during CNY. But funny how they would never pose questions on my work or my studies. I guess their mentality is that traditionally Chinese gals at my age are supposed to be married and be home looking after lil tots. No need for work or studies back in their days. But hey, that's back in their days leh. It is not uncommon these days for gals my age to be single wot. ...although in my circle of frens most of them are either married, divorced (with/without kids) or pregnant or mother of XX number of kids. But beyond my tiny circle I am sure there are tons of single gals around my age out there leh...... **Singing "All the single ladies all the single ladies now put your hands up!"**

Now again, the concern is not about what my one-year-see-one-time relatives think (really, wot is it to them anyway? they are only asking for the sake of having a 2-min conversation before they hand over the measly ang paos), but my usually quiet mommie has began to drop subtle hints of 'wanting me outta the house'. It started some time last year I think. And she always does it very randomly and out of the blue, so unexpected that I nearly choked on my food once.

And of cos the usual "peer pressure". Becos everyone have and I don't have and that makes me so acutely aware that I am the "last gal standing"... (not exactly la, like I hv said earlier there are still a few of us but in terms of my close group then...I am) @_@" But so wot? Being single is not a crime. I am not going to get hitched to some Tommy, Dicky or Harry just becos I am losing "my shelf life". And besides, I seriously have no complaints about my current status albeit that lil "peer pressure" I feel once in a while. Or when I think of tat fooker living in bliss. PUI PUI PUI!!! **Spit green slimy phlegm and saliva in your face!

Aside from that kinda "peer pressure", there's this other kinda "peer pressure" - the matchmaking frens. Lolx!! It is all with good intentions I know. No harm getting to know more frens wot.  Nice frens I have! :) And then there's MMP who will always, constantly, incessantly *nei, nei, nei (nag) at me. Our conversations concerning this "me and (where's) boyfriend"  issue will always go something like this:

MMP: "Why ah? Why ah? I don't understand leh. You are not ugly wot. Why is it that no guys go after you huh? "

BBP (Me): "I dunno MMP."

MMP: "Really leh, so many years oredi and I have not heard or seen anyone going after you except XXX (a mutual fren). Why?? Are all the guys blind or wot?"

BBP: "MMP I dunno. Dun ask me."

Sometimes I'll wonder too. There's definitely nothing wrong in the looks department I am sure. *grin grin then LOL*  And definitely not becos I have set some unattainable criteria.  Haro, no one is going after me in the first place (let's look past the miserable one or two I have zero interest in) leh. Some frens commented that it's my 'loud nature' that puts guys off.

Well, I am not your typical dainty, gentle, demure, soft-spoken (oh man, these words are so UN-me!) gals. Then obviously I am the rowdy, talks loudly and animatedly, high pitch laughing, uncouth gal who is very often overlooked by my guy frens as a gal. They'd say things like, "Stop being so chor lor la! If you can be more lady-like, there's sure to be a lot of guys going after you!"  But this is me.

In the first place if a guy dismisses me becos of the way I behave then it only goes to show (1) how superficial he is; (2) he is the one of those stoopid fools waiting to get cheated by some doe-eyed sweety pie; or (3) he is one helluva himbo (ya la, the male version of bimbo = brainless).  Haro......... If and when a guy sees me in that mode I am obviously with my bunch of frens and of cos there is no reason for me to not be myself with them wot.  But say if I am at a gala dinner or some super atas place or in some uber dead serious important meeting then of cos I will behave differently la.  For goodness' sake, I am a Scorpion and I super want 'face' one ok!  I'd rather be dead than to be caught in a wrong mode at the wrong place and time.

Ha! Ultimately, many actually dunno that I too can be gentle and soft-spoken but only with the person I lurve. (Lucky old fooker! Only he got to see that side of me.)  Sounds rather contradicting for a 'chor lor' gal to do that right but it's true.  And there was no pretence at all - au naturel.  I am serious. It has been verified.  Don't believe?  Be your own judge.

Phone rang on a normal work day afternoon (say 3ish)

Me:  Wot u want?

Fren:  Wot are you doing?

Me (voice at 100 decibel and super irritated):  Working la.  Wot else can I be doing?  PCC??  *rolling eyes*

Fren:  Wanna go dinner tonight?

Me:  Where?

Fren:  I dunno leh.  Anywhere lo.  You decide la.

Me (voice now at 70 decibel but menacing):  Eh, u jio me for dinner and you dunno where you wanna go??  Pls, go ask the rest of them or confirm a location then call me can? 

Fren:  Ok lo, let you know later.

Me hung up.

Phone rang again on a normal work day afternoon (say also 3ish)

Me:  Hello?

BF:  Wot are you doing?

Me (voice at 20 decibel):  I'm at work, D.  Wot about you?

BF:  Filming lor.  Now having a break.  Think I'm going to take a nap in the car for a while.

Me (voice still at 20 decibel):  Oh, do you want me to wake you up later?

BF:  Erm, ok.  Wake me up in an hr's time?

Me (voice remains at 20 decibel):  Ok D.  So are you meeting me for dinner later?

BF:  I'm not sure.  Filming may end late tonight.  See how ok?

Me (voice continues to be at 20 decibel):  Erm, then shall I wait for you in town or go home first?

BF:  Go home first ok?  I really dunno wot time I'll finish tonight.  We may have to meet for supper instead by the time I finish.  Eat first if you're hungry.  I'll call you when I am done.

Me (voice now at 10 decibel cos trying to mask disappointment):  Orh, ok lo.  Go nap la, I'll wake you up.

BF hung up.

Pealee has heard so many of such conversations.  She used to say she could always hear the entire conversation between my frens and I but she could never hear my conversations with boyfriend (fooker).  Haha!  Power of lurve!  People can do anything in the name of lurve!  See?  This shows that I too have a 'not so chor lor' side ok!  Wotever la,  I am sure someday my prince charming in a cute lil mini cooper will come sweep me off my feet becos he lurves me for who I am!  Yay!!  Happiness!!  :))  And for now, I shall continue to comfortably indulge in singlehood!

Fwah... this post is so darn long, probably the longest I have ever wrote.  See wot happens when I have to suppress the urge to blog about this topic for so G-D-F long???  All that old fooker's fault!  Just disappear from the face of earth can?  I don't even want to see your face in the obituary lest my eyes get hurt by ugly things.

Can't stand it.  I dunno how many times I have cursed and scolded that old fooker in this one entry.  The hatred is like so blatant.  Ya, wotever la..  I am darn sleepy now.  Time to crash!  Nite nite world!! :)

**Footnote:  I have no idea how loud is 10 or 100 decibel for the matter, the figures are only used comparatively.

An Unlucky Coincidence!!

I don’t normally have much luck but I didn’t think I could be so unlucky. Like seriously unlucky. I am recalling yesterday’s incident not becos it affects me but becos I can’t believe the kinda arse luck I have.

I have unluckily bumped into 'fooker & family'!!  What are the chances?? It was after all a weekday and I should have been at work. To think that it could be so unlucky for my medical appointment to be scheduled on this day at the same medical centre!

When I saw his big head from afar, I quickly turned away to continue my conversation with Sabby but as I was seated at an open area (and I'm so big) they obviously can't miss me.  So yes, they saw me as they came near.   Even at the distance of less than 5 meters, I pretended I didn’t see them at all and tried my very best to avoid all eye contact with them.  (Ugly things hurt my eyes)  But from my peripheral sight I could see him turn to look at me; once, twice and for a third time like as if to confirm that it was really me that he saw or perhaps to recall where he had seen this face.   I dunno and I dun care. 

I am proud that I could maintain a poker face throughout the entire ordeal even Sabby could not detect a single trace of emotion. Sabby told me that she continued to stare at me (and he continued to look over from his corner) while we were waiting, I guess she wanted to gain eye contact so that she could flaunt her precious child to me. Too bad, I didn’t give her that satisfaction.

It was pure arse luck for me really. I escaped their sight once but failed to do so this time round. I felt a whole load of anger afterwards for a while but it was nothing compared to Sabby’s hysterical recollection. I thought I was badly affected by the incident that I would cry once I get home to solitary comfort but I didn’t and had no urge to. Before I knew it, I was busy with other stuff oredi.

Oh well, that’s the story of my life; always have a bigger share of bad luck than others. I hope I won’t be subjected to such displeasuring experience again else I’d have to stock up loads of eyewash at home. Lolx!!