Let It Pour

The lightnings' beautiful but the thunder sounds kinda fearful. It's going to rain tonight. No, it's going to pour. Has it started raining on your side yet? 

Rain. It always reminds me of you. 

It was raining the first time we met. I remembered how I brushed you off when you told me to wait in the car while you fetched the brolly. Told you I was strong and that tad bit of rain wasn't going to make me melt. We walked in the rain together. 

It was raining just before we went out on our first date. We were texting each other endlessly. Told you I love the rain and you said you do too and that you'd love to snuggle with me in bed. It made me smile to myself. 

It was raining heavily the night Forester shook. We sat in the car and watched people walk by after. I enjoyed the moments of silence between us. Even that was comfortable. 

It was raining one morning when I was on my way to work and you happened to be up early. You asked if I needed a ride. I was only steps away from work but I wished I was at home at that moment waiting for you instead. 

'Tis the season where rain will come visiting every (other) day. And it would mean that I would be thinking of you as much. Will you think of me too? I know you won't. You are probably pre-occupied by everything else. 

I know I could probably get used to the status had you not withdrew. But you chose to back out. I should blame you for being so weak. But I don't. I should be angry with you for making me feel this way. But I don't. What you gave was beautiful. 

I should just tell you to walk away once and for all. But I can't. I dunno if you'd call again but I know the next time if you ever do I will jump at the chance to meet you. 

I said I want to leave behind memories of you. One day I will. Just not today. Not on this raining night.

5 Things You Learn When A Relationship Ends Before It Really Starts | Thought Catalog

5 Things You Learn When A Relationship Ends Before It Really Starts | Thought Catalog

This is like the most brilliant article on Thought Catalog thus far that simply and clearly explains how and why I am feeling the way I do even though the relationship is so short-lived. It also explains what I have been trying to put across to those who care that even though it's not love it still hurts.

Yes, no matter how short or brief the relationship was, it hurts. Hurts to know that there could be more (not really in my case). It hurts to walk away from the simple and plain happiness brought out by this brief relationship. It hurts to know that the heart just died once more the minute it got revived and was finally beating again.

Looking @ Your Back View One Last Time

I saw the combed back ponytail that I have noticed on a number of people since you first introduced it to me. What are the odds I thought. That it would really be you. But how could the back view be so familiar too? Looking down to those slippers I knew it was you. 

The part of me that reacted instantly to the familiar view was my heart - it skipped a beat. And all I wanted to do next was to catch your attention subtly while keeping my emotions masked so that no one around me would know. I succeeded. 

I even managed to steal a few glances of your back view and thought about the tattoo on your back. On how I hate tattoo and yet I find it sexy on you. How I loved to look down at you and at your tattoo dreamily while you sent me on cloud nine.

But I'm not happy. When did we stop talking? When did it become okay to stop texting me? 

You used to text me whenever you were near me, no matter the time and no matter what you were engaged in - you would think of me. When did that stop? What happened to the incessant texts you sent every day? When did it become so unbearable to put in that tad bit of effort to continue a decent conversation with me?

I got it. And any fool could have seen it. The interest is gone. I shouldn't have let you in again. Had I just closed the door, I'd have only memories of the best of you and what we had but now you have tainted the memories. And I no longer want you to be part of my memories. Not anymore. Goodbye S, it's time I let it go, let you go.