I'm gonna sound like a real sour puss writing what I am about to. Because I haven't been in a relationship for a few years now apart from a few casual affairs which are more than enough to make me keep my heart under lock and keys again.
But let's be real. Being in a relationship DOES come with a whole string of liabilities; they are just not obvious to those who spend most of their time in one (or more). Having been out of the game for a while now, I am able to see clearer that relationships do come with (a number of) liabilities.
1. Bed
That's my most treasured piece of furniture. Yes, I love my bed and I love making out on the bed and how hot things can get. But no I'm not keen on having someone taking up half of the bed and force me to keep to my side of it like that's all I'm entitled to. And come on, how fun is it to play tug-o-war in a half conscious state of mind? Damn it, give it back will ya?
2. Space
I loved being around my man but I also treasure alone time with myself. Being in a relationship means having lesser down time with myself. It is especially important to have some down time for an introvert like me to recuperate from the energy consumed. Simply put, alone time is like recharging batteries.
3. Sleep
You enjoy each other's company and time flies by before you realise it's way past bedtime. It's okay you would think. To sacrifice sleep just so that you can have more time with each other. The same cycle repeats itself at least a few days on a weekly basis. Lack of sleep has more negative effects than you can fully comprehend - outbreaks, dark circles under your eyes, bad temperaments, mood swing, inability to focus at work/in school. For me, deprave from sleep means my battery was never fully charged.
4. Tears
Lots of it. Arguments are inevitable in any relationship. And the end result - someone is bound to get hurt. I have hyper active tear ducts and with so much water in my anatomy, I lost buckets of it.
5. Time
Time is invested to get to know the other half. To learn about his quirks, habits, his likes and dislikes. It doesn't matter if the relationship last all of one week or over a decade, time has been invested and in some cases - wasted. I never truly figure till this day if I have just invested (a lot) or wasted my youth and time on one individual.
6. Rationality
Everything is beautiful when you're in love. Your judgment is clouded and you lose the ability to make rational decisions on your own without thinking for the other person. You forget about what you want or need, your mind is filled with how and what is the best for both parties even if it means someone has to give up what he/she really wants. It's called compromise when you're in love but if you would just peel back this layer you would realised that it's just the selfish attempt of one party to mould the other into someone else be it consciously or otherwise.
7. Emotions/feelings/love
Like time, you invest emotions, you give. And many a time you give more than you think you are capable of giving. You overstretch yourself and when the game ends you'd realise you feel spent and drained. Because you have given way more than you can afford to.
No, I can't say that I didn't enjoy my relationship(s). I did and I was definitely a willing party. I am just saying looking at it from a different point made me realise that it's not that bad to be alone. At least I have spared myself from all these liabilities. I am able to pamper myself without the burden of guilt. Of course sometimes I do long to be in a relationship again but there's no driving factor that makes me want to jump right back into the game. Maybe it's because I haven't met the one who makes me want to overlook all these liabilities all over again. Or perhaps that someone never really existed at all. But, whatever.
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