All In One

Almost three months since I last blogged. My last post was of course on the topic/person that occupied my mind at that time. 

I have so many things to say. So I'm going to do a word vomit for this post and throw everything up in one. 

I can't do this chronologically else it'd all not make any sense (as if I make a lot of sense). 

Gonna start with my first solo trip to Hong Kong and Shenzhen. It was a superb experience! The weather was great, food was wonderful but shopping a lil meh though. Still awesome in every way! 

The experience of being in a (not so) foreign land on my own is so fun. It's okay to get lost along the way and be aimless without feeling guilty or obligated towards anyone. I'd definitely do another solo trip again.

And Shenzhen. OMG Shenzhen! This land of the PRCs was beyond my imagination! The place is developing so well it's no wonder why JY doesn't want to come back. Gone were the days where it carried the notorious reputation of having more criminals than workers and THE place for the rich and famous to keep their mistresses.

The city is so clean and it feels so safe (no motorcycles on the road can you imagine?!). Greenery's really green, no kidding! But what mattered most is that JY has planned the itinerary so well that I can only say I'm in awe of Shenzhen in so many ways. OCT Bay took my breathe away, so beautiful!

To be honest, half of this trip was for JY and I totally enjoyed his company (and his remarkable singing) except that he could like make me feel more wanted.. especially after I have been with someone who wanted me so much, the contrast is so stark. :/

SS said I need to get away to get over. Well yes it did help. Although it wasn't a life-changing trip but it has injected enough memories for me to acknowledge that BS is a matter of the past. And I am no longer hung up over him.

Him.. I finally managed to take a peek at his FB and put a face and a name to the term. HT happens to know her and I was told that she is a very nice and soft spoken person. They are so compatible and look so loving together.

I was reminded of the many occasions when he spoke softly and I could never hear him. 

She and I are so different. I am no doubt the change that he needed from what he has taken for granted. And it has perhaps made him treasure her more. I could finally understand why he would feel so guilty towards the both of us. 

Knowing what she's like made me feel guilty too. She did no wrong to deserve such betrayal. I thought of those times he incessantly text me when she was around. How did he manage to split himself between us? 

What we did was wrong. We should never have overstepped the boundary. But I don't regret meeting him; he was in my life for a reason.

Now I can only hope that he doesn't repeat the mistake again and that I'm his last. And Mrs. K, I owe you this - I'm sorry. For your sake, I hope you'd never find out.

I knew all too well what it was like when the one you love betrayed in every way imaginable.

Someone I am close to was dating CS's colleague and she was crying over him. Seeing her upset and bawled so openly made me think of CS and I; how I did the exact same thing and the trauma he put me through. 

I no longer feel the ache but it brought back some painful memories. Some say when you begin to forget it means that it doesn't mean anything anymore. I fully agree. 

"People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime"

Was CS in my life for a reason too?  But he has stayed more than one season and left me scars that would last a lifetime.. No matter, I have learnt.

Thank you all for gracing my life with your presence. For the doses of joy each of you brought into the life of an introvert.

In my opinion, introverts are the most misunderstood people on earth.  For many years, my perpetual yawning and constant 'low batt' moments makes people around me think that I am always tired.

Now I'm fully embracing the fact that I am an introvert. That it's not that I am always tired, it's just that I people out easily. Extroverts will never understand that mingling takes up loads of our energy and when I do hang out I only conserve enough energy to last one burst.

Time alone is how we recuperate. Explains why I like to spend time alone. Sacrificing our alone time for those we care means a lot to us introverts. Sigh.. Sadly, this is not something the opposites can ever understand fully. Oh well, such is life..